We went into a kebab shop because all the Vietnamese restaurants were closed. I had been so excited that we were going for a civilised sit down meal so it was pretty disappointing to instead enter a kebab shop next to a strip club. I proudly bought nothing and hung out at the back. An unusually small man took offence to my presence or my skateboard so I began to escort him out the door for his own benefit. He did not take kindly to this course of events and began spitting mayonnaise-ridden expletives in my direction. I repeated my insistence that he ought to just leave with his kebab and continue to hang out with his dullard friends and leave me and my skateboard alone. Instead he cast his kebab aside and shouted the following at the top of his tiny voice,

“You may have SKATEBOARDS, but I’ve got KUNG FU!”

Let me just repeat that in case you are skim reading or did not quite believe it, or think that he wasn’t being serious,

“You may have SKATEBOARDS, but I’ve got KUNG FU!”

The hilarity of this statement was hardly lessened by his futile attempts to grip my throat in a ‘KUNG FU’ manner. I continued to act as if he wasn’t a prick and thankfully the kebab shop owner came by and suggested to KUNG FU MIGHTY MOUSE that he best leave. So he did.

When we left a few minutes later I was looking forward to round two but our antagonist had scarpered.

The end.